I find it interesting to go back and read through old journals and notebooks I have kept in previous phases of my life. I don’t keep many around because sometimes there are things I don’t want anyone else to stumble upon – my journals tend to be the dumping grounds for whatever “junk” is lying around in my heart and writing is cathartic for me – but some I have kept because they have documented specific points in time that are meaningful and show growth, even when it was painful.
When God gave me the word “Enough” for 2017 I was not surprised. When I was praying over a word from him, and Enough was brought to mind, I knew it was for more than just one purpose. The word holds significance for me in several areas – my self-worth, my trust in Him, and more just to name a few.
As I was cleaning up this blog, I came across some old posts. And I do mean OLD posts. Back when I was blogging as “The Queen Mommy” at wordpress.com. (serious flashback!) Whew! Still, the word ENOUGH came at me like an animated gif…
Post 1 is here. (Can I tell you that not much has changed since that post… other than no more math class)
These posts were written about 6 1/2 years ago. A lot in my life has changed since then. And I also see that some things have not changed at all.
I am still learning some of the same lessons the hard way. I am still entrapped by certain lies about God and about myself that I need to let go of so I can be free of my discontentment.
I am discovering a couple of rules on my journey in life. If I stick to these rules, I find great contentment and peace.
Rule #1: GOD IS ALWAYS ENOUGH.
Rule #2: I am “Enough” to where and what He calls me. If I am not, see Rule #1.
I am all about independence and self-reliance. It is both a strength and weakness. I like to shoulder my load and carry my weight. I expect many other people to do the same. HOWEVER, I am not always the one who determines what my load is or what weight I should be carrying.
Sometimes I take on more than I should. More than I am called to take on. And I suffer for it. And so do the people around me. When my independence becomes more important to the things He has called me to in my life, I become bitter and discontented and angry and it ravages my soul, leaving me dry and dusty and unable to be who I am meant to be.
This word holds layers of meaning for me. I am glad it is the word God brought to my heart for this year. I hope I can learn the lessons He wants to bring to my heart and life.