I have been on a quest – since my children were born – to find and maintain a life that is simple and fun. Being a Sanguine-Choleric-Melancholy it is entirely my nature to be spontaneous/controlling/dramatic. This combination of personalities – the strengths of each one – can produce a lot of really great things. I, however, have gotten caught up in the trappings of HOW to do it, and how to get EVERYBODY else to agree with me.
Not so simple. And certainly NOT fun.
My nature is so ridiculously spontaneous. I say ridiculously and I shouldn’t. Spontaneous is very much a part of who I am. Why do I try to conform myself into some other way of living?
And why on EARTH would I try to conform the rest of my family to struggle into the same mold?
I am not giving up on improving some of the ways I do things. I am not going to give up on making or keeping lists – it’s something I love to do. But I am going to work toward let go of pushing myself into something I am not, and learning to use my best gifts and talents – including my spontaneity – to MAKE life simple and fun.
I want a nice home for my family – but how can anyone relax when I harp on everything? I harp on myself five times as hard as I harp on my family, but they suffer either way. Schedules and routines are safe – but they do NOT make a life. I can help build them into the life we have – because it DOES matter if shoes can’t be found or clean clothes can’t be worn – but what good does it do to beat someone over the head with these ideals that simply don’t work for us?
My goal for 2012 was to build an atmosphere of a bed & breakfast in our home. I’ve failed. I got caught up in the rules and regulations of the whole thing – given up for long periods of time – and remembered my desires only occasionally.
So here, in the last few days of October 2012, I’m starting fresh. I’m going to use my God-given creativity to help build a warm and welcoming environment into the spontaneous chaos that is my family’s life.
I will learn to use practical and pretty things to help me along the way, but am going to work really hard to avoid the pitfalls of rigid routines and stifling structures. It wears on me and it exhausts my family. And I’m going to find creativity in the chaos!