Wifey Wednesday: Being Right or Doing Right

I’ll just admit right now that this is probably my BIGGEST battle in marriage, and its not a battle I fight with my husband. It’s the battle between my ridiculous need to BE RIGHT and my heart’s desire to DO RIGHT.

I don’t like being wrong – don’t like making mistakes – and certainly don’t like my opinions to go unnoticed… When I know I’m right, I don’t always want to just “let it go” – I want to BE RIGHT!

But the truth is, these little (usually) insignificant moments of discussion where I think I’m right tend to lead to bumps in the road in my marriage. They’re the stuff that makes working together HARD and sometimes impossible, because I dig in my heels, plant my feet and put my hands on my hips about something that is – more often than not – non essential to the value of our marriage relationship.

But when I decide to DO RIGHT by my husband – put his needs first without complaining, plan my days in a way that supports him and encourages him when he comes home, when I let him have the last word (ouch!) – well those are the days I am more contented and blessed – even if I think he doesn’t notice.

And the thing is – he usually DOES notice…

Being right is all in my mind – what I think and how I imagine things to be.

DOING RIGHT is about my heart. And bringing my mind – my thoughts – into alignment with what I know IS right, allows my heart to freely love my husband in a way that strengthens and builds our relationship.

I don’t have this mastered – but oh how I long to. It requires really training my mind – taking on the mind of Christ – that allows me to live a life of DOING right, which in reality brings me to the point of BEING right…

So this is how God works sometimes. As I’m writing this, I’m looking at Bible Gateway for the Scripture that talks about taking on the mind of Christ – which is Philippians 2:5-8. What is the Scripture of the day today??? Yes, that’s right, Philippians 2:5-8. I didn’t plan it – but He certainly did…

Let this same attitude and purpose and [humble] mind be in you which was in Christ Jesus: [Let Him be your example in humility:] Who, although being essentially one with God and in the form of God [[a]possessing the fullness of the attributes which make God God], did not [b]think this equality with God was a thing to be eagerly grasped [c]or retained, But stripped Himself [of all privileges and [d]rightful dignity], so as to assume the guise of a servant (slave), in that He became like men and was born a human being. And after He had appeared in human form, He abased and humbled Himself [still further] and carried His obedience to the extreme of death, even the death of the cross! ~ Philippians 2:5-8 (Amp)

Whether in my role as wife or mother or just being a woman, taking on the mind of Christ – who WAS and IS God, yet humbled himself – is key to not only a good marriage or relationships, but living a life that is pleasing to God…

I encourage you to read Sheila Wray Royoire’s Wifey Wednesday post today – and see what other women have to say about marriage…

4 thoughts on “Wifey Wednesday: Being Right or Doing Right

  1. Donna Standridge says:

    Debbie, you have a way of getting to the heart of the matter! Good for you! I always enjoy your posts and check them most days. Gives me something to think about!

  2. Julia says:

    I noticed this post while visiting for coffee today. It’s definitely right where I am at too. In my weekly Bible study we’ve been looking at the Gospel of John. As I studied the passages where Jesus faces his accusers, I was impressed by how opposite his responses were to mine. I came away with his example to ponder and need to pray for grace to demonstrate his attitude humble confidence in difficult situations. On my own, I naturally want to justify myself.

  3. Tiffany says:

    Wow! Have you seen inside my heart and mind?! You could have written this from my point of view and not changed a thing! This is something I really need to work on! Do right, not be right…Thanks for sharing!

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